Forgetting my insecurities

I should have said something to the two Marines in Wal-Mart this weekend, but I was scared.  I was insecure about myself and therefore put my daughter at risk.  That is unacceptable.

I am not really sure if they were talking about my daughter when I overheard what they said but even if they weren’t, I should have said something to them.

They were 20 something fairly attractive Marines, if you like the buff, Military look guys, and they seemed to end up in every section of the store we were in.  I was with my husband and daughter; my absolutely gorgeous blonde headed 12 year old daughter who has developed a woman’s body just a little too early for my taste.  She’s also a rugby player, so she is strong and muscular and is mistaken for 15 all the time.

As the two men walked past us for the last time, I overheard one of them say, “If her boobs were a little bigger, she would be perfect.”  They were looking in my daughter’s direction but there were a lot of females in the section, so I couldn’t guarantee they were talking about my daughter.

It doesn’t matter though.  I should have said something.  Instead, I froze.  I froze in disbelief, while stupid things like the fact that I didn’t have make up on and look good enough to yell at them, or that I was too fat and would just be made fun of if I said something.  I was selfish and scared of what their reaction to ME would be instead of defending my daughter.  I looked at my daughter who was happily, and blissfully unaware of the vulgar men that were around her while she helped her dad read the directions in a knitting book to see how much yarn he needed.  I was so glad she didn’t hear them.

By the time I came to my senses, they were gone.  I was so angry.  I was angry at them but more angry at myself.  I couldn’t believe that I had missed an opportunity to correct this wrong and I didn’t take it.

It is scary to confront a stranger and for some women, (me), a male stranger is even more difficult.  I let my insecurities about myself get in the way of protecting my daughter though, and that is what upsets me the most.  I have no answers or no ah-ha moment to give you.  I can only hope that it never happens again, and if it does, that I remember this incident and am strong enough to stand up for my baby girl.


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