So the blonde boy went on a field trip last weekend and as we are driving home, he snaps his fingers and says “Darnit! I didn’t get to go to the whore house!” I slammed on my breaks and as I am gasping for air I ask “just what kind of field trip was this?” I thought I was paying for a day at an amusement park…I didn’t know it was THAT kind of amusement! Come to find out he meant to say horror house….. Thank goodness.
Yesterday, as we were getting out of the shower, my daughter says to me “The dog is licking my penis”. Hummm… That’s a pretty good trick considering you’re a girl, but ok, I’ll go with it. When asked to show me where the dog was licking her, she held up her pinky finger.
OK, I can understand how horror became whore, but pinky and penis? Maybe we need to go to a speech therapist as a family…..
Then today, the best one yet…. P-man is in a big argument with his sister and just as I am about to loose control and break them up, he yells “uhuh!” and turns to me and asks if shits float. Well, shit does float, but I am almost positive this is not what he is asking me. I asked him if he could draw me some shits and he smiles and brings me a picture of a sail boat. “Oh! SHIPS!”, I say, and he matter-of-factly looks at me and says “yes, shits!”.
Doesn’t it just make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside?
Now, where did I put that number for the family therapist…..