I should have taken it as a sign when the first song I heard yesterday was “The Wall” by Pink Floyd. I should have just packed up the books, put away the pencils and told the kids to be free that we were not doing homeschool today, but I didn’t – at least not right then.
How shall I begin this? Let’s see…..I have a double degree. Yes, folks, I have 2 undergraduate degrees. Neither of them are in education. They are in Environmental Health and Safety and Industrial Operations Management. This means, I can supervise the night shift at the local foundry and keep it Environmentally safe, but I can not teach. I originally wanted to be a level 1 Environmental Hazard cleanup operator (in other words, I wanted to clean up big industrial messes), but in my last semester of college, oops! I got pregnant with my first child. Now at the time, I barely weighed 100 pounds soaking wet, I was working full time during the day and going to school full time at night. I was tired. I finished my degree and said good bye to working in Industrial Waste management because it is a dangerous job for a woman with kids. I have never used my degrees. That’s ok, I am fine with that. My father has been urging me, for years, to go back and get my teaching degree as “something to fall back on”. First of all, no thanks. I tried that once, and hated it.
Teachers possess an attribute that I do not have (I am sure there are many more, but this one is the most important). That attribute is PATIENCE…..I have little to no patience. I micromanage because I don’t have enough patience to teach someone how to do something, so I do it myself. I am not a good teacher. That’s the husband’s forte, not mine.
Yesterday, we made it through on lesson on manners. It didn’t go all that great since it was table manners and as soon as we got back to the table man child burped. The next lesson was Math. I was trying to explain fractions to man child and he was not getting it. Not his fault, I know. I lost it. I got so frustrated, I left the table and said school was over and went to my room a cried for 30 minutes. I hate homeschooling. I don’t know how these ladies do it every day. I personally can’t wait to get these guys back into school so that they don’t have to suffer the damage I am doing to them with my poor teaching skills.
In the mean time, I am to report on my favorite (?) grade school moment? Was it favorite or most embarrassing? I will give you both…
6th grade, bitch of a teacher had been harassing me all year long. The class had left to go to music (recorder playing 101), and I was somewhere else in the school, so I did not have my recorder with me. I had to go back to the class room alone to get it. When I got there, I saw a boy named Jeremy Holmes (if you are reading this – piss off you overgrown ass hole) reading a note I had written and left in my desk. I begged and pleaded with him to give it to me, but he just held it over his head and teased me with it. (He was a good 2 feet taller than me at the time) As I jumped up to get the note, I bumped him and he actually punched me in the nose. I was bleeding and ran back to Music class only to get reprimanded by the teacher because I did not have a proper hall pass. “I am bleeding you stupid bitch”, of course is what was running through my mind…… When I got home, I told my mom what happened and the next day, that teacher was put on a week’s leave….HA HA HA HA!!!! Stupid mean bitch!
My most embarrassing moment:
Imagine it, 7th grade gym, stretching out in the gym. It is silent and the class is doing the butterfly stretch where you sit on your butt and put your feet together in front of you and try to pull your heels into your crotch…I farted. Need I say more?
Hope you enjoyed!