Holy Cow!

I just watched that movie called “Super Size Me“…. I am in shock. I am physically ill. I literally had to go to the rest room and vomit after watching it.

You should know that I have issues with weight. I come from a long line of “big boned women” and I do not plan to be a part of family tradition and be diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes and then die of a heart attack when I am 60. I am not going to do it.

When I was a teenager, I was annorexic. I graduated high school weighing a mere 85 pounds. I was hospitalized, treated, and counseled until I was convinced that what I was doing was not healthy. I gained enough weight that by the time I was married when I was 20, I was able to wear a size 0. Yes, that says 0. Prior to having boy child, the largest I got was 110 pounds and a size 3. Now, well, let’s just say I am not any where near the size I think I should be. OK, before you guys start writing in telling me I am fine the way I am and that I don’t look fat, I know that. I know I don’t look fat. I know you think I am fine the way I am. What you don’t know and what I try so hard to get my family to understand, is I don’t feel fine. I don’t feel thin. I don’t even feel healthy. I feel like my skin is 3 inches too small for my insides and I feel like a stuffed sausage all the time. All the time….

I have been living with my mother for 3 weeks (maybe 4??? I left my calendar, so I really don’t know). I love my mom. She is one of the coolest and most loving women on the face of the Earth. BUT…. She is obese. She has type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, kidney problems, swollen feet, hands, face, muscle aches, bone problems and 2 artificial knees. There are many other things wrong with her health but I don’t know all of them and really, I think I know enough. I don’t want to be like that. I watch her every day get up and go to work. She comes home at 9 AM (she is a school bus driver) and makes bacon and eggs every morning. Then she plops down at the computer or in front of the TV and sits until noon when she makes a sandwich, or heats up left overs from dinner and eats again. She usually has ice cream afterward then leaves for work with cookies, chips, or muffins in her bag for a snack. She comes home at 5 and makes a full blown Southern dinner every night, complete with something fried, something covered in a pastry and bread as well as sweet tea. She piles her plate with so much food that you can not see any plate shining through then she tops dinner off with a triple scoop of ice cream.

Why? I have gained weight living here the last few weeks. I feel terrible! My kids! OMG! My kids! They now think that ice cream is part of dinner. I have been fighting and scolding for three weeks (maybe 4) about the influence she is having on these kids and it is like talking to a brick wall.

She is of the idea that she is an old lady and can do whatever she wants because who wants to diet when they are 60 years old. She has given up and makes excuses about hurting or not being able to do this or that because of her fake knees. I try to get her to go walking with me and it is “Oh, I can’t because my knees/back/feet hurt”. I am sick and tired of hearing the excuses and the moans and groans every day and night. I want her to be healthy. I want her to loose weight. I want her to experience not having aches and pains associated with being obese. I want this for her, but I can’t bring myself to loose 15 pounds. How in the hell am I going to talk her into loosing 215 pounds? I don’t care what she looks like. What I care about is her quality of life.

What do you do?

I just had the kids sit down and watch the movie with me. boy child was disgusted – hopefully enough. I don’t want to be one of those “no meat, only health food” type of people. I love meat. I love ice cream and I LOVE cheese cake, but in MODERATION and not every day. Where do you draw the line? How do you teach your children that it is ok to eat these things but not every day without making it seem forbidden therefore desirable? What do you do?

Don’t know. Maybe I need to figure out my problem first then I can help the kids. It is tough. I don’t judge people by their weight. I just don’t want my children to be like that. I want to give them a chance to feel healthy and make the correct choices. Hell, some of the people I love the most are over weight, and I feel terrible for typing this entry. But, what do you do?


2 thoughts on “Holy Cow!

  1. I agree with undr. Just be healthy. you already know that everything in moderation is fine.I think that’s the important point. Not “making a happy plate” which may require a kid to over eat, which is what my mother did to me for years. Just eat only when your hungry and stop as soon as your satisfied, not stuffed. Unfortunately we can’t force others to share our point of view. Just love on them and lead by example.Will they change? I don’t know. But you’ll be happier and less stressed.so let’s have a brownie. 🙂 Chocolate sounds really good right about now!


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