If I have to watch Lilo and Stitch ONE MORE TIME!!!

First of all, please be warned that this entry has a reference to sex starting in the third paragraph. If you are sensitive, embarrassed, or prude (which is not necessarily a bad thing), please don’t read it then leave nasty comments and send me hate mail, just don’t read it.

I don’t know if it is that my kids really like the movie, or that it is one of three movies my mom has here for the kids (because I forgot their movies – believe me I TOTALLY REGRET IT!), but they have watched Lilo and Stitch twice a day for a week now. How can children watch the same movie over and over again like that you ask? Like this:
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They are sleeping on what my step dad calls “hunting cots”. They are metal cots that are about a foot off the ground and covered with the green stretchy cot material. They are actually pretty comfortable (and they make great trampolines for Little Bit – sssshhhhh…don’t tell my mom though!). Little Bit sleeps in the bed with me. It will be “fun” to try and get her out of that habit after we move.

OK so onto the raunchy stuff….. The thing is what type of raunchy do you want? Should I tell you about the guy I saw at the gas station who was picking his nose and eating it while he thought no one was looking? What about the teenager who lives next door who sits on the front porch and gives himself those scar tattoos every night? Oh, wait a minute, that’s just gross.

Raunchy……I could always tell you about the new “toys” I found….. Actually they are kind of cool. Those of you reading from the Middle East (Hi Brn! and Lulu!) won’t be able to click on this as it is censored (not that you would…I’m just sayin’). Geeze, I can’t believe I am about to do this on a public blog…… If you guys ever meet me, please don’t hold this against me…… BUT…check this out Liberator It is really cool, especially if you and your partner happen to be very different in height. In case you can’t click on the site, they are wedges and shaped pillows that are covered in velvet that you can use to help with…..well, here is a quote from the catalogue, “The wedge brings 27 degrees of tilt and delivers seven incredible inches of lift specifically designed to bliss your favorite flower into full blossom. The angle excels [every performance in any position] and intensifies every single sensation.”

Now it is time for me to talk myself into a corner. I am kind of embarrassed to have referred anyone to that site, but I figure everyone is entitled to have great sex, right? Then again any sex is better than no sex (to some) whether it be great or not…. (You know who you are!). My best friend is laughing her little rear end off right now because she knows me and she knows that really, I am not embarrassed, because I ooze sex 24/7. Now she is REALLY LAUGHING. It is kind of funny. Men do seem to be drawn to me for some reason, but then again, so are rabid animals and mosquitoes.

Its Wednesday isn’t it? Hell, who knows. I left my calendar in Houston and am totally lost!

The husband seems to think that the kids and I will be in the UAE before Sept 15th – I will not hold my breath, but hope it is true! So here is a photo of the house we will live in……

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Now, imagine me cleaning that thing! Hoi! Really, what do you do with a house like that? When we moved to Tulsa, we bought a 3 bed room house that was only 800 Sq. Ft. In Stillwater, we lived in a literal shack (2 bed room, one living area and a tiny tiny tiny kitchen. It was maybe 500 sq. ft – at most) and then in Roswell, we got to spread out, but only into 1000 Sq Ft. This house is insane. I keep waiting for someone to run up and yell “April Fools” at me. How does this happen to a little country girl from Tomball, Texas?

OK really, please don’t be offended or freaked out about the Liberator site. If you knew me for real, you would completely understand – trust me. I don’t really know what I mean by that, but you really would.

ENOUGH!

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6 thoughts on “If I have to watch Lilo and Stitch ONE MORE TIME!!!

  1. Anonymous says:

    Oi, Not fair to tease us like that – we are drooling into the desert!! You will have to bring a couple of samples for us instead !!Hee hee heeLulu

    Like

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