What do you tell a little boy who just wants to go home when you have no home? How do you explain to a little girl that her daddy is really far away and she can’t call him. How do I help my babies understand all of this? What am I supposed to do when they cry for their daddy and I am all out of explanations about what is going on?
Living out of suitcases and sleeping on couches is getting really old. The boys just want to rough house and baby girl just wants to curl up and watch a movie with her daddy. I just want to smell him and hold him and touch him.
Today is especially hard since I am back at my mom’s house for a while. It feels strange. I am comforted to be here, but I also feel more distanced from the husband than ever since I’ve gotten here. Everything is falling apart. The husband is having difficulties securing visas for the kids and me. His work seems to have some strange chain of command he hasn’t figured out yet. The house he had for us got sold out from under him yesterday, and I just spent $500 US on groceries. Um, yes, you read that correctly. My mom had a diabetic “episode” in Sam’s this afternoon and the house she just moved into is filled to the molding with crap from 1982.
It has been a terrible day, and of course, I can’t sleep.