Excuse me? My birth certificate is invalid?

Let me just start out saying that the husband and I were both born in California…..THAT should explain a lot right there.

In order for us to get our residency visas to live in the UAE, we have to get all of our birth certificates, and our marriage license “Authenticated”. WTF, right? Well, first we have to send these documents back to the state of origin, to their state department. Not only is it near impossible to find exactly which area within the damn state to send them to, but once you find it, you also learn that it is going to cost you a minimum of $20 per document to get a piece of paper attached to it saying that it is an authentic document. Throughout this fiasco, the state of California is too big and important to have actual HUMANS on the phone to answer questions, so you are arguing with a fucking machine the entire time! I was able to talk to a human right off at the British Embassy in DC, but not so when I called Sacramento, California! Bastards….

Anyway…… What we have ultimately found out is that if you are over the age of 5 and you have your ORIGINAL birth certificate, it is invalid in the state of California. So we got to send another chunk of cash to the state of California because we had to order new birth certificates, which are just copies of the originals (which we have) that have a notarized stamp on them. So fucking stupid!!!!! My birth certificate coming out of Ventura county was $63.00 and the husband’s coming out of Long Beach was $32.00. That just doesn’t seem right….

Surprisingly, the state of Oklahoma was wonderful, straight forward and very friendly. They are charging us a freaking arm and leg to do the authentications, but they were nice about screwing us, so it just doesn’t seem as bad.

The next step is to pray (which would probably work better if we actually had religion) that the new birth certificates make it to my aunt’s house in time for her to run them down town and get the authentication and ship them back to me so that I can rush them off to Washington. Once they get to Washington, all 5 of the birth certificates will need to be authenticated by Condi Rice (well, I am sure it will be a lackey of Condi Rice) and we will be off…… That is if nothing goes wrong, Fed Ex doesn’t loose anything, the papers don’t get misplaces in Washington, some lackey doesn’t spill his coffee all over them and the butterfly only flaps its wings 3 times in Peru……

Wish us luck…

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One thought on “Excuse me? My birth certificate is invalid?

  1. Augh! The document authentication process was a nightmare. We had the same problem with our marriage certificate being considered invalid. I had to go back to the courthouse (fortunately we still lived in the same city) and get another copy of it. It was signed and notarized by the exact same person, the only difference was the paper it was printed on.

    Like

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