~ DISCLAIMER: I love my kids and I love being a mom. I have wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember. ~
BUT…why is it that once some women (I said some – not all, don’t get your feathers ruffled) become moms they turn into the look down their nose, I am better than you women because I don’t cuss or smoke or drink or let my kids watch TV for too long or spank my kids or yell and everything in my life is perfect and happy and nothing ever gets to me and I never yell or “loose it” blah blah blah blah…..
Why do we feel like everything has to be perfect? Where is it written that we must all be like June Cleaver? It is a lovely thought, but one that is unreachable.
Well, why don’t you just strive to be June Cleaver, you ask? Well, why shouldn’t I just strive to NOT be June Cleaver!
Ya know, I am a freak. I had fun when I was younger. I was a wild child. I inhaled and there were times I didn’t use a condom!!! I am not condoning the condom thing, but I am just saying that I did it (or didn’t in some cases). I cuss and I used to smoke until I got pneumonia in October last year. I don’t drink on a regular basis, but I do occasionally have a bourbon and coke as well as the occasional Fat Tire (the only beer I have found I like enough to not gag when I drink it). I love…no, let me correct that…I fucking (so much for the no cussing thing) love bands like Linkin Park, Korn and then of course Sting and the Police. I pick my nose in fornt of the husband and I never close the door to the bathroom when I use the toilet. I yell and I kick and scream and I lose my cool quite a bit at home when the kids are being little terrors and secretly, I really love the feeling I get when I take a muscle relaxer for my back (that is why I try NOT to take them!!!).
The other BUT in this blog….
BUT…my kids are really great in spite of my perceived inadequacies. One is a total and complete freaking genius (it is documented), the other is not too far behind that one. One is so loving and precious. He has these amazing green eyes and a laugh that could restart your heart after a heart attack. Little bit is the most fun loving, excited, happy and content child I have ever met. She tells everyone she loves them and she is bloody fucking smart also. You bet your ass that little bit is every bit as smart, if not more so, than the others. When we go out, we constantly get compliments on how well behaved the kids are, the boys’ teachers say that they are the most well behaved children in class and really, my honor student can beat up your honor student!
What is the point of all of this? I don’t know and I kind of don’t care. I am just so sick of sitting through PTO meetings with all of the other snooty moms talking amongst themselves while I am on the other side of the table alone. I am sick of them making judgment on me because I don’t attend a local church (or any church for that matter), and I am sick of being the mom that they all rely on for ideas but don’t ask out for coffee. I probably wouldn’t go, but I would like to be asked anyway.
Fuckitall. Why do I care….
This is me signing out. Until tomorrow.
For now I am just a mom still trying to get some sleep waiting for the husband to get home.
PS if there is anyone out there reading this who knows how to work the damn spell check after entering the blog, please please please tell me how to do it!!!!!! I press the ABC spell check button but nothing happens!!!